Day 1 – Your Heart’s Desire: Design the Big Picture of Your Life
Are you ready to take charge and become the powerful creator of your own happiness? When you are motivated from your heart’s desire, you come from a place of passionate intention. You look at the big picture— which includes, with equal measure, you, your journey, and the goal— rather than focus only on the results.
Passion is the fuel that makes us swim across oceans and walk over mountains when life gets in the way of our plans. And it does— that’s something you can count on!
On this first day, explore what makes you the happiest in life, and who you are being and what you are doing when you are happy. Then pick a daily goal, something that you can do right now that will sustain and support that happiness.
If you’re wondering what it means to define who you are when you are happy, ask yourself:
“How would I like to feel when I wake up in the morning? While at work? Before I fall asleep?”
Workbook: Day 1 Date:
Your Heart’s Desire: Defining Who You Want to Be
As you answer the following question, remember to keep the focus on yourself, not on other people and how you might want them to be. For your answers, you might consider such feelings as these: competent, self- confident, radiant, trusting, relaxed, comfortable in my own knowledge and capacities.
What feelings do you yearn to experience in your day-to-day life, in your work life, and in your relationships with yourself and others?
Day-to-Day Life
Work Life
Relationships with Self & Others
Imagine you have a magic wand that you can wave to instantly become the exact kind of person you want to be. Close your eyes for a moment and breathe into the feelings you identified above, Let your imagination soar as you wave your magic wand and describe exactly who your ideal self is.
How would you act if you were your ideal self?
In what ways would you act differently in these three areas of your life if you were your ideal self right now?
Day-to-Day Life
Work Life
Relationships with Self & Others
What is the biggest unresolved issue in your life right now? If you were looking at this issue through the eyes of your ideal self, if you had his or her perspective, how would you resolve this issue?
What does your life look like with this issue out of the way? Be specific in all three areas of your life. What would your day-to-day life look like with this issue out of the way? Your work life? Who would you be in your relationships with yourself and others without this issue?
Day-to-Day Life
Work Life
Relationships with Self & Others
Breathe into your ideal self; breathe big, deep breaths into every cell of your body; and let your ideal self complete the following sentence with three distinct answers.
I am a person who stands for ________________________________.
Breathe this in and own it.
I am a person who stands for ________________________________.
Breathe this in and own it.
I am a person who stands for ________________________________.
Breathe this in and own it.
These are your top three values. Remember them; cherish them. You will be using them to consciously create the life you want.
Congratulations! You have now created the Big Picture of who you will be and how it will feel to live your ideal life.
Chapter 1 Highlights
Stop Living Your Life in Emergency Mode
Live a Life of Intention: Choose Who You Want to Be
The Big Picture
Ask Yourself: Who Do I Want to Be in Every Moment of My Life?
Ask Yourself: What Would It Be Like to Live Life Motivated by My Heart’s Desire?
Envision: Be Myself Living My Own Life at My Biggest
Day 2 – Define Your Goals Create Your Benchmarks
Setting goals is an art. The Big Picture is your heart’s desire. Your goals—the Small Picture—is what gets you there.
As you practice and perfect the art of setting goals—choosing what stretches you, even what you don’t know you can accomplish—it may feel risky. At the same time, you will feel passionate toward life, excited by who you are, and that will keep you grounded and present.
We often think that the goal itself is what’s going to make us happy, and we postpone happiness to a hypothetical future. Be happy right now and choose a goal that will sustain that happiness. Your happiness and fulfillment is now, in the present, as you set yourself in motion to pursue all your goals, motivated by your heart’s desire. The journey, then, will be easy and smooth.
What stands between YOU and your GOAL is the JOURNEY—and that is your life. Proceed with passionate intention.
Workbook: Day 2 Date:
Your Small Picture: Identifying Obstacles and Setting Goals
Here are some suggestions of areas you may want to address. Identify any others that are relevant to you, and list them below.
Keeping in mind your Big Picture, what is standing in the way of your living your best life in any of the following areas?
Day-to-day life
Work
Relationships with self & others
Health
Education
Personal expression
Creativity
Assess your goals in stages and take your time; this is a work in progress! For example, if you want to lose 30 lbs. or make a million dollars, break down the process of achieving your goal into measurable results and reasonable time intervals.
In 30 days, I will ________________________________
In 60 days, I will _________________________________
Take a deep breath and be willing to hear your inner voice. Strategize, prioritize, and allow your intention to live your Big life and come from your heart’s desire. Hear your inner voice with clarity and focus. Be present to the wonderful journey you are designing for yourself. Savor the moment. Focus on the goals that will bring you closer to fulfillment. You can have as many goals as you want to have, and you can come back to this list whenever you wish, and go a step deeper.
Chapter 2 Highlights
Keep Your Eyes Wide Open
Ask Yourself: What’s in the Way of Living My Big Picture?
Try If Differently This Time: Create Goals That Connect You with YOU
Discover the Power: Assess What’s Right for You—in the Moment
None of Us Is Superhuman, Including You
Start Now: Live Your Life in the Present
Ask Yourself: What If Nothing Needs Fixing? (Imagine that!)
Day 3 – Your Purpose and Vision Do You Remember Who You Are?
Defining your purpose is like finding a path in the forest. You can walk assuredly in the direction of your goals, one step at a time, without seeing where the path leads or ends. You simply trust that you’re on the right trail at this moment.
Like this trail, your purpose will guide you to keep walking, to stay on your path, even when the way is unclear or uncertain.
Small changes, big changes, we all hold in our heart the powerful and sincere desire to touch someone’s life—maybe even our own.
Workbook: Day 3 Date:
Creating Your Declaration of Purpose
Work as long as you like on your purpose statement, and keep revisiting it until you are completely satisfied. In this book, you are asked to commit to working the days chronologically; however, you can keep going back to previous days to deepen what you have already done. Relax. You will know when you have found your declaration of purpose. Trust. You may find it helpful to answer these questions to support your discovery:
• What are the gifts I can share with others?
• What wisdom can I share?
• What will I leave behind? What is my legacy?
• What difference will I make in the lives of others?
• What am I being called to give?
You will most likely be creating a statement similar to these examples:
I am the photographer who, with my magical eye and my warm heart, connects mankind with nature.
I am the storyteller who connects people to their inner and outer natures.
I am the editor who supports people in finding their written voice so they can tell their stories.
I am the lighthouse who illuminates people’s paths in the dark and shows them their journey.
I am the healer who helps others see their own divine potential. I am the scientist who gives comfort and hope to people in pain.
Now it’s your turn. Find a place where you will not be disturbed. Get comfortable and focus on your breathing. Deepen your breath, connect to your power center, and let go. Answer the question below when you are ready. Take your time; go slowly; enjoy the process. Let the metaphors come to you.
What is your life purpose?
I am the ________________________________ who _______________________________.
Be willing to declare your purpose out loud and really experience how it feels in your body. Don’t worry about being silly: shout it out loud; embody it; let it fill the room. Declare it at least three times.
Chapter 3 Highlights
Ask Yourself: What’s Keeping Me from Dreaming the Way I Used To?
Take a Stand: Define Your Purpose.
Day 4 – Create an Atmosphere The Power to Choose Your Surroundings
You are what you think. Watch your thoughts and love yourself. Create a big space for yourself, one that allows you to be who you want to be while pursuing all your goals. In a fulfilled, intentional life, you get to design the atmosphere that works for you.
Workbook: Day 4 Date:
Determining Your Ideal Atmosphere
What qualities of atmosphere cultivate your most creative, productive, and resourceful frame of mind such that you can achieve your goals?
Assess your possibilities, and always stretch yourself to find the answers that are tailored to you. String together as many possibilities as you want. The word “and” is one of the most powerful words in the English language. It is an invitation to multiply possibilities. Really find the attributes that most excite you and bring you alive and keep you centered.
For example: trust and serenity and fulfillment and understanding and cutting-myself-some-slack and openness and relaxation and effervescence and curiosity and...
What thoughts about yourself do you need to let go of to create that atmosphere in your life?
Watching Your Thoughts
Do this exercise with as many of your perpetual negative thoughts as you wish. Think of the thought and then answer these questions:
• Is this thought really true?
• How do I treat myself when I have this thought?
• Who would I be without this thought? • Who would I be if the opposite was true?
Notice how much easier it is to achieve a state of well-being when you dwell in positive thoughts.
Creating an Alliance with Yourself
Reflect on your recent pursuits and answer these questions: How do you treat yourself...
• ...when things proceed according to plan?
• ...when things go sideways?
What way of treating yourself would be more conducive to your happiness and fulfillment...
• ...when things proceed according to plan?
• ...when things go sideways?
What essential qualities are important for you to hold on to in all of life’s circumstances? Choose as many as you want—ALL the ones that are important to you!—and string them together with “and.” You can have them all; they don’t exclude each other.
For example: flexibility and light-heartedness and fun and seriousness and professionalism and goofiness and....
Chapter 4 Highlights
Be on the Lookout: Watch Your Thoughts!
Take Charge: Define Your Own Parameters
Repeat After Me: Change Is Easy
Be Your Best Ally
Ask Yourself: What Am I Thinking?
Day 5 – Update Your Stories It’s Time to Live Your Life, Not Theirs
Are stories running your life? Are you allowing stories from the past— stories about who you are—to stop yourself from living life full-throttle? Here’s your chance to “update your system” by updating your stories.
Ever since I got rid of my stories, I have so much more time. I no longer spend my energy trying to justify who I am. Being with friends is more rewarding because there’s less talking and more connecting. In learning to be open to the true, present me, I’ve discovered that I’m great at math and I’m reliable!
Workbook: Day 5 Date:
Assessing Your Stories
Ask yourself what stories might be holding you back from achieving your goals and your Big Picture. Write down all the stories you believe about yourself and, for each one, ask, Does this story reflect who I truly am in this present moment? Then write down how each story is holding you back. Be willing to listen to your authentic voice and to rewrite your limiting stories. Only you know what’s true for you.
Limiting Stories about Myself:
How Is This Story Holding Me Back?:
Who would you be without your stories? If none of them were true, if you were free from all those limiting myths and beliefs about yourself, who would you be? This is another opportunity to get out of the structure of your life and really dream Big. The radical act of living an intentional life is to be aware of everything that holds you back and to rewrite it coming from an accurate assessment of who you are in the present.
Describe yourself as the person you really are. Detail what your life would look like if you were not bound by your old stories.
What is the new reality you want to design for yourself? Be specific and leave it as an open-ended story, with flexibility for ongoing reassessment.
Chapter 5 Highlights
It’s Time for a Clean Slate: How to Update Your System
Cut Yourself Some Slack: You’re Perfect Without Those Stories
Day 6 – Become Curious Listen and Be Surprised Every Day
“The only known cure for boredom is curiosity. There is no cure for curiosity.” ~Dorothy Parker
What if curiosity doesn’t kill the cat—but it gives them nine lives?
We have five senses to experience new things every day, yet we choose to see what we want, hear what we want, believe what we want—blocking our curiosity and the magic of life. In this fast-paced world of instant answers and solutions, it seems that curiosity is underrated, undervalued, or, for some, nearly nonexistent.
Open your eyes, ears, and mind to be curious and experience the infiniteness of life.
Workbook: Day 6 Date:
Reclaiming Your Curiosity
Recall a time in your life when you were truly curious. Connect with that moment and bring its vividness into the present. Describe it here.
Think about your Big Picture. What about it makes you most curious?
What do you think is the most valuable gift of curiosity? How do you feel when you are purely curious?
When you think about the goals that you have set to move toward to your Big Picture, your heart’s desire, what about those goals makes you curious?
Re-Learning How to Listen
When you ask yourself the following questions, slow down, look yourself in the eye, and actually listen to the voice of your heart.
Who are you in this moment?
What makes you curious about yourself?
Chapter 6 Highlights
Shake Free: Jumpstart Your Curiosity
You Can Do It: Reclaim Your Natural, Magical Skill
It’s True: Life is Invariably Messy
Day 7 – Acknowledge Your Parachute Your Life Starts Now...Jump!
Have you ever wondered what lies on the other side of your comfort zone? Are you stuck preparing for a someday life, when all the conditions are perfect? What if you knew you had only one year to live? Seriously, think about that. Would you risk a crash landing to jump off the cliff in pursuit of your dreams—to experience the thrill of being truly alive?
When you over-organize and over-plan, worrying about an imagined future, equipped for every potential disaster, you forget to actually live. Trust yourself: your life experience is your parachute. Have fun with it; expand your confidence from a new, curious perspective. Ever parasail? Wear wings?
Workbook: Day 7 Date:
Assessing and Strengthening Your Parachute
What excuses do you make that prevent you from living your life to the fullest?
How is the state of your parachute with respect to your new goals and your Big Picture? Honestly assess where you stand in your present life and determine what updates need to be made in any of the following areas to obtain your goals:
• Education
• Finances
• Professional work
• Relationship with yourself
• Relationships with others
• Physical body
• Emotional body
• Spirituality
• Creativity
• Atmosphere you want to create right now
• Other areas of importance to you
Who would you be right now if you fully trusted your parachute?
Chapter 7 Highlights
Guess What: The Future Is Now
When Does Your New Life Start? (Now, of course.)
Time-Out: Take an Inventory of Your Life and Assess Your Parachute
Day 8 – Define Your Steps Put Yourself In Charge of Your Destiny
Steps can take you up, metaphorically, to new experiences, or down, to revisit experiences you consider important to repeat. The action of choosing is what creates a new reality to fit the present moment.
Steps in mythology represent the desire to reach a higher life with the intention to accept the past. Create the steps to your goals with the unlimited vision of your Big Picture.
Workbook: Day 8 Date:
Creating Your Steps
What is your Big Picture? (revisit Day 1 work pages)
Write down the most urgent of your goals related to your Big Picture. (revisit Day 2 work pages)
What steps do you need to take to reach this goal? Be as specific and comprehensive as possible.
Record another one of your goals that you defined on Day 2.
What steps do you need to take to reach this goal?
Record another goal you defined on Day 2.
What steps do you need to take to reach this goal?
Prioritize your steps as short-term or long-term. First decide which goals you want to accomplish by the end of Day 30, and schedule their steps backward from Day 30. For each step, specify the date you would like to complete it by, write that date next to the step above, and then record the step on the first of the chapter-end work pages corresponding to its completion date.
If any of your goals exceed 30 days, record the post-30-day steps and their completion dates in the extra pages at the back of this book. You may also record other goals and their attendant steps there, too.
How do you want to feel in the process of actualizing your steps? For example, do you want to feel trusting? Happy? Fun? Serious? Grounded? Light-hearted? Concise? Clear? Confident? Optimistic?
You decide! Whatever feelings support the steps to achieve your goals are perfect for you. List them all; don’t hold back.
For Long-Range Goals
Break each goal down into smaller time increments:
If it’s a 10-year goal, for example, break it down into 10 steps = 1 step/year; pick the same time each year to assess your results (including how you feel and if you are in synch with your heart’s desire).
• If it’s a year-long range, then break it down into trimesters.
By month/year ________________ my goal is to__________________________.
Steps: Completion Date: By month/year __________ my goal is to________________________________.
Steps: Completion Date: By month/year ______________ my goal is to____________________________.
Steps: Completion Date: By month/year_____________ my goal is to______________________________.
Steps: Completion Date: By month/year _____________ my goal is to____________________________.
Chapter 8 Highlights
Step Around It: Your Limited Thinking Is Your Biggest Obstacle
Create Steps: Relate Them to Your Big Picture Goals
No Excuses: Your New Life Is a Place of Clarity, Aligned with
Your Big Picture
Day 9 – Become the Observer Step Out of the Drama and Assess Without Judgment
What would your life be like if you never got caught in distracting, self- created drama, if you stopped blaming others and outside circumstances for your miseries?
Welcome to your new choice. Rather than feel like a victim, you can become the Observer, with a 360-degree view of your entire life, past, present, and future.
Put yourself on top of a lighthouse, or a tower, or Mount Everest! From this place of intentional calm and clarity, your Observer can be an objective, ever-present source of knowledge, illuminating your options for action.
To take responsibility for what goes on in your life. To revise your life plan to suit your current circumstances. To move more effectively, deliberately, toward your heart’s desire.
Drama always takes you on a detour from the present moment.
Workbook: Day 9 Date:
Observing Your Drama
What drama stands in the way of your achieving your goals?
What do you get from being hooked into this drama?
Are you willing to let go of this drama?
Who would you be without this drama?
What do you need to do to be free to focus on your goals instead of this drama?
The Observer always stands in clarity. What is standing in the way of your clarity?
How do you feel when you identify yourself as the Observer?
What’s your next step? Discard other people’s notions of what you should be and do, and regroup within yourself. Who are YOU and what do YOU want?
Chapter 9 Highlights
Be a Lighthouse: Stand Tall and Get Clear about Yourself
Let Go: Walk a Clear Path to Where You Want to Go
DAY 10 – Rework Your Recipe Keep What Works and Change What Doesn’t
When you try a new recipe and the dish doesn’t work out, do you use the recipe again? Sometimes yes, after blaming the oven or the weather. Sometimes no: you move on to another recipe, hoping that one will make you look like a fabulous chef.
However, if you really wanted to be a successful chef, wouldn’t you seek professional support? Wouldn’t you develop your skills and practice, practice, practice, so that you could eventually achieve the results you desire, on your own? A child learning to walk gets up and tries again—no matter how many times they fall. They haven’t yet bought into the adult concept of being a “failure.” (Who’s the wise one?)
When our life isn’t working, we tend to blame something outside ourselves rather than look within or find someone who can support us. Today, on this tenth day of your intentional journey, look back on your life, as the Observer, and objectively assess what worked and didn’t work for you.
What have you tried to do over and over again without getting your desired results? Now you get to consciously choose: What different action can you take? Whom can you ask for help?
We often think we already know what to do and how to do it. It’s liberating to admit that we don’t always know. Receiving the support of others, inviting them to share your vision for your life, will help you reach your goals with more ease and confidence.
Workbook: Day 10 Date:
Assessing and Revising Your Formula
What has worked in the past to support you in reaching your goals?
What, if anything, had you judged as a failure? Review each situation without judgment and discover its lesson.
Can you reach your goals by yourself? Honestly assess whether you could use professional support. If so, define the areas in which you could use assistance.
Coming from possibility rather than resignation and excuses, what do you need to put in place so that you can receive assistance? Consider whether you would have to rearrange your schedule, or, in order to afford professional guidance, save or borrow money or prioritize your spending.
What kind of personal support system do you need to put in place? Identify the key people in your life with whom you can share your vision and, specifically, how they can help you reach your goals. If you are trying to lose weight, for example, you might ask those in your household to not buy junk food.
Chapter 10 Highlights
Ask Yourself: Who Is Holding Me Accountable?
Before Evaluating the Past, Remember Your Alliance with
Yourself
DAY 11 – Beyond Perfect Add Pinches of What Irritates You Most
Our world has conditioned us to think that in order to be loved and appreciated, we must only show our “good” qualities. Seeking acceptance, we try to hide our “bad” side—and are all too quick to point the finger at others who display those same “bad” qualities.
Habitual strategizing and judgment exhausts us and entraps us in a collective agreement of social propriety and conformity, devaluing the very authenticity that deepens genuine love and appreciation.
Are you ready to unleash the deepest, truest you, to move “beyond perfect” to what’s really real?
Today’s exercise is not easy on the ego. It is, however, a powerful way to let go of judging yourself and others, and to integrate all that you are.
1. Think of a situation you’re trying to resolve.
2. Identify someone who majorly gets on your nerves.
3. Judge that person, calling out their worst attribute and the
negative connotation of that attribute.
4. Let go of that person. 5. Find the positive essence of the negative connotation.
For example: arrogance Negative connotation: Arrogant people are full of themselves. Positive essence of being full of themselves: self-confidence.
6. Ask yourself: How would more self-confidence—a pinch of conscious arrogance—help me in the situation I am trying to resolve?
Have fun with this exercise: judge all the people you can’t stand for the qualities you see in them (your very own!), and then thank them for helping you add a conscious pinch of those qualities into your life. A pinch of everything makes us complete, compassionate human beings.
Workbook: Day 11 Date:
Assessing Your Attributes
There are three distinct steps to finding the treasure in an attribute:
1. Write down the attribute that irritates or triggers you.
2. Record the negative connotations of this attribute. (This is your opportunity to really indulge your annoyance and be judgmental.)
3. Become the Observer, your unbiased and curious self, and reinterpret the attribute from this perspective, looking to uncover its positive essences.
In the following pages, I model the process for several attributes, using examples from my clients, so that you can successfully engage in your own process.
Attribute: arrogant
Negative Connotations
Arrogant people:
• Are full of themselves
• Talk about themselves too much
• Make themselves bigger than
they are
• Always think they are right
• Don’t care about others’ opinions
Positive Essences:
Arrogant people:
• Are self-confident
• Don’t gossip about others
• Are bold individuals
• Have no self-doubt
• Focus on themselves
Now define your own negative connotations and positive essences for the attribute of arrogant.
Your Negative Connotations:
Your Positive Interpretations:
How can a pinch of the positive essence of arrogance get you to your goals faster?
Where can you be more bold, self-confident, internally focused, and certain in your life?
Attribute: selfish
Negative Connotations
Selfish people:
• Only consider themselves
• Do not reciprocate equally
• Are demanding
• Don’t worry about others
• Don’t consider others
Positive Essences
Selfish people:
• Are self-sufficient
• Don’t sacrifice themselves
• Know what they want
• Have more freedom
• Are accountable for themselves
Your Negative Connotations:
Your Positive Interpretations:
How can you use a pinch of the positive essence of selfishness to reach your goals?
Where in your life can you be more free, self-sufficient, clear about what you want, and accountable for yourself?
Attribute: bossy
Negative Connotations
Bossy people:
• Behave like dictators
• Push their opinions
• Don’t listen to others
• Always get what they want
• Will fight to have it their way
Positive Essence
Bossy people:
• Act with conviction and are decisive
• Commit to their way of doing things
• Trust their decision-making process
• Are resourceful and get their way
• Are strong in the face of opposition
Your Negative Connotations:
Your Positive Interpretations:
How can a conscious pinch of the positive essence of bossiness help you move forward?
Where can you be more committed, resourceful, decisive, and trusting in your own decision-making process regardless of any opposition?
Attribute: boastful
Negative Connotations
Boastful people:
Are full of themselves
Are arrogant
Are self-centered
Toot their own horn
Positive Essences
Boastful people:
• Trust their own capabilities
• Believe they can do anything
• Assume that everyone can
take care of themselves
• Advocate for themselves
If you let go of judging this attribute, you’ll see that the positive essence of boastfulness can help a person really sell themselves. When you genuinely think the world of yourself, it’s easy to sing your praises from a place of fulfillment.
Your Negative Connotations:
Your Positive Interpretations:
How can a conscious pinch of the positive essence of boastfulness help you realize your Big Picture?
How would it feel to sing your own praises with authentic trust in your capabilities, promoting yourself and holding a positive regard about who you are and your accomplishments?
Now pick some attributes that really irritate or trigger you and, following the process, record your negative connotations and positive essences for each one. Then assess how a pinch of that attribute can support you in reaching your goals faster.
Remember, you can come back to this process whenever you are irritated in your life and transform the irritation into a treasure.
Here are the three steps again:
1. Write down the attribute that irritates or triggers you.
2. Record the negative connotations of this attribute.
(This is your opportunity to really indulge your annoyance and
be judgmental.)
3. Become the Observer, your unbiased and curious self, and
reinterpret the attribute from this perspective, looking to uncover its positive essences.
Attribute:
How, and in which areas of your life, can a pinch of the positive essence of this attribute support you?
Negative Connotations
Positive Essences
Attribute:
How, and in which areas of your life, can a pinch of the positive essence of this attribute support you?
Negative Connotations
Positive Essences
Attribute:
How, and in which areas of your life, can a pinch of the positive essence of this attribute support you?
Negative Connotations
Positive Essences
Chapter 11 Highlights
Live Your Life Uniquely Imperfect
Mirror, Mirror: Take a Long, Kind Look
DAY 12 – Strong + Weak = You Learn to Work Together
People who get what they want usually have a correct assessment of themselves. Self-clarity translates into a path paved with clear intention and choices, and ultimately leads to your heart’s desire.
You become the super-powerful, intentional creator of your life experience when you become the Observer, assessing yourself neutrally, without judgments of good /bad, right/wrong, should/shouldn’t.
Author and speaker Tracy Goss says that the secret to becoming neutral is to move from judging events—“This isn’t the way it should be; this requires fixing or improving.
”—to the mindset that “There are no problems; there is only what happened, what’s missing, and what’s the next action.”
Apply that mindset to yourself: You don’t need fixing; you are who you are. Now find the positive essence of each of your so-called weak points.
You judge yourself to be a procrastinator? What is the positive essence of that? It could be the commitment to live life on your own schedule. What would your life be like if you added a conscious pinch of that?
Michael Corleone, in The Godfather, Part II, says, “Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer.” That is, know your friends well, but know your enemies even better. Knowledge of your weaknesses is invaluable to your success. Utilize their positive essence to maximize your strengths as you work toward realizing your heart’s desire.
Workbook: Day 12 Date:
Assessing Your Strengths and Weaknesses
List all the things you are good at. Keep your Big Picture, your goals, and your steps in mind.
List your weak points and then reinterpret them to find their positive essences.
Weak Points:
Positive Essences:
How can these positive essences serve you in achieving your goals?
Now review your weaknesses with the Observer’s eye focused on how they might hinder the steps you’ve mapped out to accomplish your goals. Make a specific plan on a page for resolving these issues.
Chapter 12 Highlights
Start Strong: What Do You Do Well?
Own It: Your Strengths—and Weaknesses, Too!
Take a Deep Breath: Assess Yourself with Confidence
DAY 13 – Watch Your Language! Empower Your Actions by What You Say
A victim complains about the wind. A positive thinker hopes the wind will change. An owner adjusts the sails. ~Steve Chandler
Sticks and stones may break your bones, but words really can hurt you! The quickest, most powerful way to create change is to watch your language—to catch yourself every time you utter words conveying that you can’t have what you want.
Empower yourself right now with more constructive words. Observe every BUT, SHOULD, and NEED TO you say (or think), and then repeat the sentence, replacing:
BUT with AND SHOULD/NEED TO with WANT
Listen particularly to language that holds accountable something outside of you—the weather, money, time, your partner—for your not having what you want in the moment.
When you move toward your goals, fuelled by your heart’s desire, you won’t notice the weather, your wallet, or your loved one’s resistance. Reinforced by your own empowering language, you become virtually unstoppable on your journey.
Workbook: Day 13 Date:
Examining Your Language
Revisit your goals and the steps you need to take to realize your heart’s desire. What excuses do you use to not take action?
What are the biggest “should’s” and “should not’s” that have ruled you and your life?
(Examples: “I should know what‘s good for me.” “Good girls shouldn’t have this much fun.” “I should be making more money than my wife.” “Men shouldn’t show their feelings.”)
When you designed your goals on Day 2 and your steps on Day 8, did you do so from need or want? Go back and fully reassess your goals using your wants as the motivator. Record any revised goals and steps below, and prioritize and schedule them as you did on Day 8.
What would it be like to fully surrender to what you want?
Chapter 13 Highlights
Listen Up: What Holds You Back?
Make a Shift: Change Your Speech Patterns
Listen Again: What Delays Your Present?
Head Games: How Old Is Your Heart?
Day 14 – Your Original Spark The Flame That Keeps You Going
You got to be tough when consumed by desire
’cause it’s not enough just to stand outside the fire.
... Life is not tried, it is merely survived
if you're standing outside the fire.
... Wanting to fly higher and higher,
I can't abide standing outside the fire.
from “Standing Outside the Fire” by Garth Brooks
Connect with your inner fire; revive the flame of your passion. Your Original Spark is the feeling state that defines the essence of you. It’s what ignites your life—the core state you live your life by. For some, it’s freedom; for others, it’s passion, or peace, or wholeness.
When you ask yourself, “Is this all there is to life?” you are not connected to your essence. You may feel deflated and mopey, like you’re a victim of the world.
Your Original Spark is yours: it’s why you are who you are; it’s why you want what you want. We weaken our connection with our inner fire when we do, do, do; when we judge ourselves; and when we neglect our physical, emotional, and spiritual well-being.
Slow down right now, take a deep breath, and connect with the fire in your belly. Realign with your primal essence. Who would you be if you reclaimed your Original Spark? How would you benefit? How would the people around you benefit from your being your true self?
Workbook: Day 14 Date:
Defining Your Original Spark
Record what you want in each of these categories:
Personal Life
Professional Life
For each want, ask yourself, Why is this important to me?
What is its value to me?
What feeling state would this provide me if I had it?
Want: Importance/Value: Feeling State:
Your answers to the previous questions will reveal your core essence, your Spark. Don’t be afraid to declare it below:
______________________________ is my Original Spark.
I am here on earth to express ______________________________.
Review the goals you defined on Day 2 and consciously infuse them with your Original Spark. Take your time. Envision yourself fully alive in your life, achieving your goals one after another.
List all the advantages, benefits, rewards—both tangible and intangible— that you and the people around you will receive when you are living your life ignited by your Original Spark.
Chapter 14 Highlights
Tap Into It: Fire Up the Power of Your Spark
What Gets in the Way of Connecting with Your Spark?
Make a List: What Do You Want?
Infuse Your Goals with Your Original Spark: Who Do You Become?
DAY 15 – Your Secret: What You Most Defend From Others
We all have secrets hidden away in the cellar of our soul. And, many times, we judge ourselves without mercy for the way we acted at one point in our life. Perhaps these secrets are what’s really holding us back, imprisoning our happiness. Today is the day when you transform your regrets into freedom. It’s not the secret that hurts you; it’s what you think the secret means about you.
Our buried, long-held secrets hold our authentic flow hostage. It takes tremendous courage to face your secrets and regrets; however, it gets easier as you realize it’s a vital part of the journey toward truly knowing yourself. Commit the ultimate courageous act to accept who you were at the time you did something shameful, and accept the possibility that you were doing the best you could at that time—that you were acting from the best of your consciousness. Have a cup of tea with who you were, and bring compassion to the situation and yourself.
This is the ultimate request for you. Intentionally letting go of self- judgment and self-shame opens up a vast store of energy that you can channel into your journey toward your heart’s desire and into your commitment to be fully present while getting there.
Workbook: Day 15 Date:
Investigating Your Secret and Your Resultant Self-Belief
What is the secret you least want to reveal to the world? Write it out in all its details.
(If you think that you are an open book with nothing to hide, that you don’t have a secret belief about yourself, you may still be looking at yourself through the eyes of your guard. It’s okay to lower your defenses and know that you will be safe in the pages of your own book.)
What does it mean about you that you were a participant in this event? What are you making that event mean about you? What is your self- judgment?
What practical reasons could explain your behavioral choice back then?
What do you need to do to be accountable for your actions in this event?
What current core values does this past event violate?
Seeing yourself clearly and compassionately through your adult eyes, opened further by this exploration, what is really true about you?
What is different about you now, standing in this truth?
How will you use your reclaimed energy to move you toward your goals?
Chapter 15 Highlights
What We Resist Persists
DAY 16 - Share Your Secret Invite the Sun to Shine
Even the darkest dark cannot survive the light of a single candle. Sharing your deepest secrets with a trusted partner is like inviting the sun to shine in the most shadowy corners of your soul. Just the act of sharing can create an experience of liberation—of literally being freed!
Share your secret with someone who can receive your sharing as a gift. While deciding whether to take this action and with whom, practice the art of choosing as a discerning person. Something this big requires safety and the ear of someone who can hold you big, who only wants the best for you.
Let your single light shine.
Workbook: Day 16 Date:
Sharing Your Secret
How did you feel when you revealed your secret?
What were you convinced would happen?
What actually happened?
How did you interpret your listener’s reaction?
Integrating Your Secret
What does your younger self want you to know?
What does he/she need from you?
What kind of relationship are you committed to having with this wounded part of yourself?
How can your wounded part support you in moving toward your goals with more focus?
What is its positive essence, and how can you use that essence today?
In what areas of your life will it serve you to add a conscious pinch of this positive essence?
Chapter 16 Highlights
The Value of Sharing
Reconnect with Your Younger Self
DAY 18 - The Power of Your Thoughts What You Focus On Grows
How would you live your life if you knew that you could have what you want? Our thoughts are our primary tools for creating what we want. If you planted watermelon seeds, would you expect a rose bush to grow? Our thoughts are like planted seeds: a negative thought—attention on what you don’t want—will not yield a positive outcome in your life.
Focusing on or obsessing about something, like watering a seed, will only create more of the same.
Embrace the radical act of living your life intentionally, which includes thinking intentionally. Experience the connection between your thoughts and your results.
Workbook: Day 18 Date:
Creating Powerful Thinking
Pick one of your goals to work on during this exercise. Envision yourself with 100% belief in your capabilities.
What is the best-case scenario for this goal?
What is your non-negotiable bottom line, the marker you are not willing to go below?
Who do you need to be to get the results you want?
Why is it important that you get these results?
Who are you going to be when you achieve this goal?
Repeat this exercise with as many goals as you want.
Chapter 18 Highlights
Think Big and Go Home
The War Against You
Make a Peace Treaty with Yourself
DAY 19 - Your Head and Body Balance Your Rational and Intuitive Thinking
We are all creative, capable, and whole. Inside ourselves, we have the resources to get us where we want to go. Expressing all our attributes, bringing them into balance, generates a life of authenticity—and success.
Ready to abandon your comfort zone, again, and assess yourself?
Are you an analytical, rational-thinking person? Then tune into your feelings more.
Are you a feeling, intuitive person? Then pause and think things through with logic and analysis
.
Have fun with this! Carl Jung suggested that, to embrace ourselves fully, we have to experience the opposite of who we are. Embrace your totality, your wholeness, by pushing past your limitations, so that you can consciously choose when to follow your reasoning or your intuition.
Workbook: Day 19 Date:
Balancing Your Rational and Intuitive Thinking
What areas of your life would benefit from a more rational approach?
What areas of your life would benefit from your being guided more by your intuition?
How do you know when you are in balance, in the perfect pivot point between your rational mind and your intuitive body?
Considering this perfect pivot point and your goals that have been primarily directed by either your rational mind or your intuition, what changes can you make in how you’ve been pursuing your goals?
Chapter 19 Highlights
Your Body: A Fantastic Tool
Take Leaps of Faith from a Grounded Place
A Healthy Mind in a Healthy Body
Intend to Create Balance
DAY 20 - Sole Focus One Thing at a Time—Easy Does It!
One of the life’s most precious opportunities is to enjoy our relationships and connections with others. If you’re a multi-tasker, chances are, you are not fully present in any of the activities you’re doing; and chances are good that you are frustrating or irritating the people you’re interacting with.
You can do only one thing at a time. Execute each activity or action by focusing in the moment—and you will find even mundane tasks more enjoyable. The fastest way to get more done is to slow down and do one thing at a time. People will relate to you better, and you will actually save more time.
Life is never done. What would your life be like if, in every moment, you were totally focused on the task in front of you? How much more fulfilling would your personal relationships be if you nurtured them with your undivided attention?
Give yourself the present of being present.
Workbook: Day 20 Date:
Doing One Thing at a Time
Pick one of your relationships and commit to having, for one full day, the experience of being present to every interaction with that person. Afterward, record how those interactions differed from your usual experience of that relationship.
Choose one day when you will intend to not multitask, when you will consciously do one thing at a time. Afterward, record how that day differed from your typical day.
Chapter 20 Highlights
Slow Down to Get More Done
Do One Thing at a Time (Always)
Life Is Never Done
Swim with the Current
DAY 21 - Being and Doing Who You Are and What You Do
If you choose goals based on your heart’s desire, you are not only happier while you pursue your goals, but you also greatly increase your chances of achieving them. When you are happy and fulfilled, life flows, and, rather than react to circumstances or difficulties, you turn them into opportunities for creation, discovering solutions that you would not have otherwise found.
Achieving your goals is not nearly as important as who you are along the way. Being happy and fulfilled is the way as well as the end result. If you put your happiness on hold until you reach your goals, your sense of fulfillment will wear off as soon your accomplishment becomes old news. The means doesn’t justify the end; the means is the end because all we ever have is the present moment.
This shift in consciousness to who you are being from what you are doing is essential to the realization of your heart’s desire: you will reach your goals faster if you are happy. Give yourself the world on a pedestal.
Workbook: Day 21 Date:
Becoming Aware of Who You Are Being
Review your goals, including all the steps. With the Observer’s lens, expand the view to include you.
Who would you like to be while accomplishing your goals? Record as many adjectives as you like, stringing them together with “and.” You are a multifaceted human being; you can hold as many attributes as you want: fun and integrated and considerate and committed to your health and relaxed and trusty and...
Shifting from a Human Doing to a Human Being
Think about your life right now and consciously observe the areas in which you are a human doing. How would shifting to a place of being work better for you?
How can you slow down and connect to your body to make that shift?
Chapter 21 Highlights
Embrace Another Perspective
Take a Deep Breath
Create the Openness for New Things
DAY 22 – The Zone! Dance with Your Resources
The zone is the place where everything seems to click in your inner and outer worlds. All the pieces of the puzzle fall into place, and there is a natural flow and perfect timing.
We know we are in the zone when our creativity is easily accessible, we have challenges instead of problems, we feel powerful, centered, and calm, and we are conscious that anything is possible. In the zone, we can have it all—just like that!—and it is a place of conscious choice.
When we are in our zone, we have a stance that says to the world:
I am here to dance with my circumstances, and nothing can stop me. I walk my talk!
The zone is not an exclusive club only a select few can enter. We all have the power to access our zone with ease and flow, and enter that place of synchronicity where everything aligns. Laugh, sing, and dance (LSD) is the fastest way to connect with your zone.
Laugh, sing, and dance to the tune of your favorite music along the yellow brick to the best part of yourself.
No Workbook Day 22
Take It Easy...
No workbook exercises today: Go dance and step into the zone with consciousness—and have fun!
Chapter 22 Highlights
Witness the Power of Language
When You Are Not in the Zone
Into the Zone!
The Power of LSD: Laugh, Sing, and Dance
Easy Does It
DAY 23 – Oxygen Mask Take Care of Yourself First
Wearing your oxygen mask means to fully commit to taking care of yourself first so that you can be fully prepared to help others.
Likewise on an airplane, if you can’t breathe, you’re not in a very powerful position to be of service to others. Even in the less critical moments of our life, we pause to take a full inhalation of breath so that we can recharge and move forward with consciousness.
In a world full of choices, we often have conflicting values and don’t know which action to choose, which value to privilege. However, when we live in the present and focus on priorities, life is easy. The next time you are in doubt about what choice to make,, stop and ask yourself, “What would give me the most oxygen right now?”
You might give yourself some oxygen by taking a walk in the park, reading a book, meditating, hanging out with friends, watching a movie, or even playing golf. Remember that your children, your peers, your employees, and everyone else around you will do as you do and not as you say; model to the world that you are a discerning human being who can take care of yourself.
Workbook: Day 23 Date:
Identifying Your Oxygen
What is the oxygen you choose to breathe to keep yourself balanced or to fortify yourself when you feel stressed and troubled?
What structure or sign can you set up for yourself, or with
a friend, that lets you know it’s time for you to wear your oxygen mask? For example, I have set up with a friend that if I say I can’t breathe, it usually signals that my physical pain is becoming unbearable, and I need either an adjustment, a massage, or medication.
Chapter 23 Highlights
Clearing Out Conflicting Values
DAY 25 – Harmony Harmonize with Yourself and the World Will Harmonize with You
Embrace yourself, once and for all, for everything that you are, including the imperfections that make you perfectly human. Most of us struggle because we self-judge, abuse ourselves, and try to present an image of perfection to the world. We strive to be who we think we should be, instead of accepting who we really are and investing all that misspent time and energy into discerning and developing our authentic self.
People who get what they want are people who are able to accurately assess themselves. They know the secret of embracing all aspects of themselves. We are not black or white; We are black and white—and all the colors of the spectrum between.
Pick an action that someone does that hurts you or really drives you crazy. Then ask yourself, “How do I do that to myself?”
Your greatest teachers are always right in front of you— only if you are seeking to learn and know yourself deeper. Harmony happens when we realize that each judgment we cast on another is nothing more than an aspect of ourselves waiting to be embraced.
Workbook: Day 25 Date:
Integrating Characteristics That Trigger Us
What attribute really irritates you in others? Feel your judgment as intensely as possible. Amplify it.
How does this quality translate into action? For example, bullies push and boss others around. Arrogant people treat others rudely, with no consideration. Translate the quality you have chosen into an action.
How are you doing that to yourself?
How is that serving you?
What is the positive intention of this quality?
How will the integration of this quality serve you and your Big Picture?
Chapter 25 Highlights
Mirror, Mirror on the Wall...
How Are You Doing That to Yourself?
How Is that Serving You?
The Positive Intention of the Dark Side
DAY 26 - Relax Into Success What If It Is Really That Easy?
“To laugh often and much; To win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children; To earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends; To appreciate beauty, to find the best in others; To leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch or a redeemed social condition; To know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded”.
Commonly though inaccurately attributed to Ralph Waldo Emerson, this piece of wisdom is a timeless formula for success. Notice it says nothing about money, glamour, fame, the size of your home, the kind of car you drive. Sadly, many in our culture have bought into a limited definition of success, and overwork and overstress themselves to achieve it.
Here’s a really simple strategy: Embrace all your failures because
within them are the very seeds for your success. Embrace the YES! attitude and be open to receiving compliments and praises. Be ready to receive success with your arms wide open. Now, that is easy.
Workbook: Day 26 Date:
Being Aware of When and How You Block
In which areas of your life do you block?
Do you block more with certain people? Who are they?
How do you block specifically? Is there a pattern in your resistance?
For example, do your responses to people often include the word “but”? If someone asks you if you are open to doing something, do you say, “Yes, but...,” and put a condition on it?
What do you get out of blocking? What is your payoff?
Would you be willing to embrace the “Yes, let’s!” attitude for a full week and consciously open your mind and heart? (You know what I want your answer to be!)
Chapter 26 Highlights
Opening to Potentiality
Failing is the First Step to Success
DAY 27 – Anything but That Swallow Your Frog or Toad
“Swallowing your frog” means to take an unappealing action in order to overcome something that has held you back for all or most of your life.
The rewards for such an action are so much higher than you could possibly imagine in the present moment.
You don’t have to look at the frog. You don’t have to kiss it. Just swallow it and move on. Your life is waiting.
Workbook: Day 27 Date:
Identifying Your Frog
What is that one thing you have perpetually resisted facing? If you’ve been resisting multiple things, pick the biggest one.
What is the specific action being called for when you face your frog? For example, if your frog is to reconcile with your parents, the action to take might be to call them or write a heartfelt letter.
What prevents you from taking that action?
Choose now to swallow this frog. How does it feel to be taking this on and opening up to possibilities?
How will swallowing this frog move you toward your Big Picture?
Congratulations! You just stepped into the “Yes, let’s!” attitude. Give yourself a pat on the back and keep going.
Chapter 27 Highlights
Big Picture, Small Picture, Big Frog, Small Frog
Stretch the Metaphor
DAY 28 – Happiness All There Is to Know
If there is only one thing you take away from this book, let it be this: you are the sole and exclusive creator of your own happiness.
To expect something or someone outside yourself to bring you happiness is completely unrealistic, and it relinquishes your power.
The sooner you surrender to this simple yet profound fact, the sooner you will tap your own resources when life goes sideways.
Being happy does not mean you’ll no longer experience unexpected turns; it means you’ll be able to dance with adversity, no matter which way life turns.
When we are happy, there is flow and synchronicity in our life. Happiness is the way, not the destination.
Workbook: Day 28 Date:
In lieu of exercises today, review The Map to Happiness:
• You are the sole and exclusive creator of your own happiness.
• Happiness doesn’t need a reason.
• Happiness is in the present.
• Happiness is when you are in harmony with yourself.
• Identify and align your values, your goals, your life purpose, your Big Picture.
• Create a structure that keeps you operating in integrity with these four elements.
• Even when you are happy, life can go sideways: harness your resources and dance!
• Use happiness as a gauge to know if you are on track or off.
Chapter 28 Highlights
Happiness Is Found in the Present
DAY 29 – Walk Your Talk: Align Your Body, Mind, and Soul
We each are a team. Our team wins when all its elements work in concert toward a shared vision. When you live in alignment with your heart’s desire, when there is harmony among your body, mind, and soul, you are the human being you are meant to be: creative, resourceful, and whole. You get what you want.
You are what you say, what you eat, what you drink; you are the things you do and the people you associate with. When you walk your talk, you are aligned with your values. You have plenty of time to manage all the things on your plate, and you don’t struggle. Life unfolds gracefully.
It’s an important developmental task to learn to live as a discerning adult, with the choice to say “no” to excesses that do not serve the team that is you. When you say “YES!” to what supports your Big Picture, you will dance rather than walk, you will sing rather than talk, and, in this perfect harmonic balance, the entire world will sing and dance with you.
Workbook: Day 29 Date:
Aligning Your Body, Mind, and Soul
Body
What does your physical body need to function at 100%?
What changes do you want to make to your current regimen so that your body functions at 100%?
Mind
What does your mind need to function at 100%?
What specific activities do you want to do to exercise your mind and keep it open and alert?
What specific thoughts make your mind function at its optimum? What thoughts make you happiest and allow you to access the zone to find creative resources?
What will you do when a negative thought arises?
List three specific thoughts that you will engage to override negative
thinking.
How do you feel when you do this?
Soul
What does your soul need to function at 100%?
A walk in the forest, having a cup of tea alone, meditating, yoga, dancing, listening to your favorite music, praying, chanting, bird watching—any of these may be what connects you with your soul, your spiritual essence. What activities bring you closer to yourself, fill your heart and soul with joy, and give you pure fulfillment?
How do you want to feel when you connect with your soul?
Designing a Structure
Make a schedule of the daily, weekly, and monthly actions and activities that you have determined will align your body, mind, and soul. Record them in your day planner or on Post-it notes to stick on a mirror or door— whatever works for you.
Chapter 29 Highlights
Who Are You?
The Universe Within Ourselves
Do What You Love and It Will Be Good for You
What Comes First: The Activity or the State of Being?
Relevancy Check: The Impact of Your Life
Dance in Harmony
DAY 30 – The New You: Exult and Embrace the Real You
When you come from your heart’s desire: you have defined your goals... you connect with your purpose... you choose your surroundings... you let go of old and crippling stories...
you welcome curiosity back... you acknowledge all that you have done... you define your steps to take you to your next goal... you become the Observer and let go of the drama... you rework your recipe by letting go of patterns that don’t work and keeping what does work... you add a pinch of what irritates you the most...
you accept all your qualities... you use language that empowers you... you ignite your Original Spark... you face and share your secrets... you invite the sun to shine... you practice the art of choosing... you focus on what you want to grow... you balance your rational and intuitive thinking... you focus on one thing at the time... you shift from a human doing to a human being... you dance with your resources... you take care of yourself first... you stop and smell the roses... you harmonize with the world...
you relax into success... you swallow your frog (add garlic—the French do it!)... you know you are the sole creator of your happiness... you align you body, mind, and soul...
you exult and embrace who you are...
...and when you exult and embrace who you are: Anything, absolutely anything, is possible!
What Is Next 4 You?
Do it again. Keep practicing this life-transforming formula, updating it continuously, and your life will continue to bring you priceless gifts.
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